Gaining Major Confidence

In this episode, Hardin shares how simply creating your own definition of success leads to massive confidence. #LifeOfABoss

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Transcript

Jason Hardin  0:03  
Welcome back to another wonderful episode of Life of a Boss The podcast. I am your host, Jason Hardin. And I am absolutely excited to be here man life of a Boston podcast is the real estate and Wallace podcast on personal development. Man, we help people create and live their own definition of success. And that's important, man, I can't stress that your own definition of success. You're not out here trying to live or create or find anybody else's definition of success. You're not here for that. You're not here to live anybody else's definition of success. You are not here for that. You are You were not brought on to this world, this planet into existence to live or pursue anyone else's definition of success. But sure. I can't emphasize that enough or stress that enough because I think people get lost so many people get lost. And I can say that because I was so many people. And I know I represent so many people. You know what I'm saying? Just me. I whenever I go through I know so many people feel that, that exact same what? So I'm here on this episode, speaking to those so many people in anyone else that can relate. So there's so many more people. But I say that to say this. I had to learn that it was my own definition of success that I was supposed to pursue. I had to learn that myself I had, there was one I used to man when they say that people buy shit to only impress other people. It's like I was so caught up in that man. I mean, I had things I didn't even care about you know, I only made moves to get because other people thought that shit was cool. No, I had a sixth form pile on honey spokes clean as hell with the glass bottle still on the inside. You don't I'm saying that was worth money where it was. It was clean. It was chrome it was silver the whole Call. The call was silver. They had all the comb on what you put on it spoke volumes and, and, and I hated that damn car. Have you ever driven a boat? That's how that call felt. It felt like driving a boat. A boat. Like Like, from in from the way it just I couldn't stand that damn car. I couldn't stand that damn car. And the only reason why I got it was to impress other people. Because it was somebody else's definition of success. In my head where I come from, that's what that's what, that's what the homies want. That's what that was looking up to him and my era you know, six or Apollo's forgotten ever seen one to know Sixth Form politics to even to even enter the fray Sixth Form Paulo, like it's nourishing songs about it, you don't understand. And I got caught up in a you know, I was so caught up in impressing other people are so caught up in, in validation and needing it and in taking so many opinions from other people that that, that I didn't really care to be like it was people that I didn't want to be like, that I tried to impress that I tried to gain things and add things and and and they'd be the things they want they would want you know, it wasn't shit that I really cared about. And I say that to say that I spent years chasing and getting in obtaining what other people thought was success you know quick past bad money you know, I got that to your failure. There was nothing that was that was enticing to a youngster that I did not partake in. In regards to I guess that that bad boy shed you know, I never got into drugs and anything, you know, just to say that you know, but I'm saying like, like, there was nothing outside of you know, anything like that and I probably didn't, didn't

Jason Hardin  4:57  
partake in all kinds of little scheme. And in place to get money and in just gangs, I've really didn't get into gangs. You know, I like to say that because I like to put it all out there, you know, we're talking, they put it on wax, you know, this is all wax so, so I'd like to clarify. I'm gonna take a quick sip. Yeah, like to clarify like, like, I never got into gangs in heavy into drugs or at least using it. And like, like, besides that I was trying to impress. If I did sell drugs, it was because I thought selling drugs was impressive. You know, I thought, I thought wow, they sell dope. And it wasn't a dope dealers that that I grew up with. And I was admiring the ones I saw on the TVs and movies. The dog didn't have that new and I didn't want to be like them. You know what I'm saying? So, so I think I think, like I said, a lot of stuff put out that I really wanted was stuff they pushed on on the media, that my definition of success is what, what Hollywood, and what television and what movie stars and, and what all that Toby what's, you know, Toby what success was, you know, what all of them said? what success meant? is what I was trying to get. I was trying to have money I was trying to have, have have, you know, the toys and the material things? Like, and not one point in my childhood and in my, in my youth? Did I pursue volunteering for the community. I did not know one point. I had not one point. You know what I'm saying? And it's so funny how our definition of success has a lot to do with giving back and helping the community and being involved. But what I was pursuing what was what was imputed in me. I had nothing to do with that. And you know what, I'm realizing all this system speaking because we're supposed to speak you don't I'm saying and talking and communicating we can find out you know what things really mean? And I'm realizing how, how serious that influence of television and, and, and idolizing people that that didn't know me and it wasn't for me, it was from or, or, or people on TV, I realized and just folks that were out there, not the right people in my community. When I was young, I didn't know nobody in my community. I know my mom or my daddy and whoever lived in this house, I was my community and I didn't know anybody who was doing shit for anybody else in my community. And it was funny because I did because even when I was living with my granny back in her day she did for the community now wasn't up on it. I was like first grade second grade level migraine and then I live with her again like in like fourth grade. But I never really understood why. She didn't think she did. She gave back she she she was so given she she she went to the present. My granny went to the prisons and used to do put them prisoners you don't I'm saying be be be teaching church. I don't know what the hell she was doing in prison. I don't know what she was doing. But I know we'd be parked outside the prison in the car for hours. At least an hour hour. Hour is ours for youngsters. If you had us at one hour, and we went out there 45 minutes that was ours youngsters. So I felt like we was out there for hours in front of the prison. Like once a week, once a month we was regular. And we used to be out there in the car across the street from from the park where she wouldn't have the SUV giveaways. And I was while I was watching this and I still wasn't watching this. That was her definition of success. It was all about giving back. You know what I'm saying? So so it's crazy how how what we naturally want to do is not what were promoted means by mainstream media to want to do. So creating and living your own definition of success is so important. That's why That's why that's the tagline because that's what being a boss is all about. That's what being is in total self control is all about you know what I'm saying that's what the the eternal pursuit

Jason Hardin  9:51  
for wealth and knowledge and and personal development and always trying to better yourself always trying to be a better you always trying to do Like always starting with you, in regards to bettering yourself and improving yourself and investing in yourself, like, like, that's what it's about. And I didn't know what that was about. And no, that was, that was the secret to success. We, when you get to the point where you're just giving, that means you have it all, you don't to a certain point. And she had it all we weren't homeless, and she was given. We wasn't sleeping on the couch, and she was given she was given that with a beautiful home, we lived in a beautiful home. Every time I lived with my granny, she had a beautiful home with beautiful furniture, she had class and, and style and, and, and she gave in she gave and I didn't catch that until I got much older and didn't catch the secret to success was was was being the best you that you could be. And the best you not the best you that you think you're supposed to be from watching TV or some music video older or online or, you know what I'm saying now they got so many ways to distract you from wanting to beat you. You know they they make up ways to make you want to be someone else thinking that issue? Maybe um, that now you know, you're questioning you, instead of knowing what the hell you supposed to do. And you only know what you're supposed to do by fooling investing in you fully turning that camera lens that you have in your mind inwards and saying what do I need to do to make me better, healthier, stronger, because when your body healthy, your mind is healthy. And when your mind is healthy, you can do healthy things. Like I said, like make money, like solve problems. Like to stay in shape and lose weight, or gain weight. If he's gonna You don't I'm saying it, whatever situation you're in, you can improve by creating a living your own definition of success. Your own definition of says, Stop chasing what everybody else wants. And Chase what you want. And I said all that you know, because we're gonna get back to confidence because that's why I went on that rant. Because that builds confidence. You know what competence comes. When you're fully you, when you're able to be you. And if you're not chasing your own shit, you'll always be comparing your level of success and progress and all that was somebody else's in in that's the most unused shit you can do. So creating and living your own definition, definition of success as a major part on confidence on your level of confidence. Because if you're out there trying to be somebody else, then then that means somebody else's is what you're measuring your worth. But if you're here trying to be yourself, then then you're your own, your own standard of measurement, you know, wherever you go in life, whatever you create, and, and living like that in it, then it's like there's no limit to the possibilities become analysts, because you are whole new human being going through a whole new human experience getting to a whole new goals. Seeing a combination of things and experiences and tastes and touches that are unique only to you.

Jason Hardin  14:16  
And you have to embrace that and embrace it to the level where you walk with that as your armor as your light. So you can keep your chest out in your head. Because like I said, it's all about confidence and if you can't move with confidence then it's all bad. It's all bad. If you can't move with confidence, something is wrong. Show me somebody who's not confident and something is wrong. Something is wrong with that person. If he had total confidence that means anything that was well he owns he owns it man. Life didn't start for me until I became confident you know, you could deflate me like a inflatable dam with Nanga saber because it was a small like an inflatable pool. You can do play me like a inflatable pool will only have no competence you know at the pick of a pen you know what I'm saying? Like there was there was so little you could do it and make me feel like shit that's what I'm trying to say like, like you didn't have to do much to make me feel like shit. Do you know somebody like that? Are you somebody that somebody ain't got to do much if they know the right button if they don't have the white the right words the right the right gifts that they know to talk about your mama cuz she was on drugs and talk about your house dad's boat. She's talking about your daddy cuz he's whatever. You don't say if you got something like that on you that owns you, and you don't own it, then you can be you can be so deflated. You can be someone who just let the air you at any given moment. In a rap battle. They're just smashing. You don't I'm saying like, like Eminem before you own this shit. Once Eminem owns his shit and rapped about his shitty wet belt, anything anybody could ever say about him. His Trailer Park House is strung out mommy wept about everything anybody can say about him. And what does that do but not make him more powerful? Now he could use his talents to do anything he wanted. And could nobody have nothing on him? Could nobody stopped from could Nobody said hey, your mom was a dope fiend. And you lived in a trailer. You noticed? Can nobody look at me and say, Hey, your mom and daddy would do things and you lived in a crack house. Like, man, tell me that shit now. It makes me think about all the things I've been through to get where I am. They're telling me that shit when I was going through it, and I wasn't, you know, and that was more valuable. I was going through it. And I didn't know how to use that as my as my like, inspiration. I was just sad and upset and mad all the time. And in. I had no competence. I didn't I wasn't chasing my own definition of success. I was I was so focused on what other people wanted. When I was younger. I was measuring myself against other people. And what they thought was success was in and I wasn't comparing myself to people. I was always comparing myself to my house to their house, my car to their car, my family's color, you know what I'm saying? And we didn't have the numbers just so it's easy to compare, like, we don't have nothing. I'm already at a loss. Like, it takes you a while to learn. You didn't have nothing because it didn't start off unconfident. I didn't become unconfident until, until people told me I didn't have shit. And people didn't have to tell me a solvent. I didn't have like, whoa, we don't have shit. And you only learn you don't have shit when you start being around people which it is like, Oh, we don't have this. We don't have this in an alien luxury to them. It's like what you don't have this. Like going back in time, like, like, indoor plumbing. You don't have indoor plumbing. You don't share like, thank

Jason Hardin  19:13  
you. It took a while for me to get that. Yeah, I mean to understand that, that we didn't have shit in there. How I was living was not right or healthier. It was completely dysfunctional and long and bad, you know? And that's when I lived with my parents. So you know that there's a lot of things that made me unconfident. There was a lot of things and that was just one, you know, and that was several, you know, you don't say that that create a shove bullet shoot. So I had every reason in the world to be unconfident. I still would have every reason in the world to be uncounted. If I didn't know the truth, and the truth is man, life is what you make it. Not what somebody else made it. It's what you make out of all the nonsense out of all the stress, the pain, the tears, the hurt, the hate, and all day sports you make. And you gotta find confidence there because that's where it is. In you being you and knowing that not comparing yourself to anyone, and living your original journey and telling his story. Telling is not letting somebody else tell you your story. That's why history is so important to people. They want to tell their story. I know it ain't the way you said it weren't my grandfather's grandfather didn't do that. And that shoots important to people. It's not me, but it is to a certain degree. It's not to me to where history is my favorite subject. But I love no one interesting facts about the people that I have lineage with, I guess. So competence is something that we have to create. It's not something you find is something you create man. And it's as easy as creating what success is to you. What do you want out of life? What entices you what what was your curiosity? What do you wonder about what can you do for hours on end, and they don't feel like hours on end.

Jason Hardin  21:43  
What's fun to you? What's funny you to where you want to know all about how they make it, how they do it, how they build it, how they mold it, how they package it, ship it, sell it, you want to know everything about it. Start there create and live your own definition of success in in confidence that comes with doing that will will take you anywhere you want. When I started doing me to the fullest things happened. I was going on red carpets in Hollywood. I was I was at the parties. Where were the celebrities when the brokers motherfuckers there I was at celebrity houses. They house was the venue. They was the venue Jamie Foxx I'm gonna name him I'm putting him out there because he rents his house to a lot of people. He has a beautiful home and and and I say that because I his shit must be on Airbnb man. Jamie flashgot net Airbnb money now because he was doing this shit before Airbnb. Motherfucker grants his house out to have a beautiful party. And I ain't gonna say where it's house yet. But he has a beautiful property overlooking some beautiful shit. And you don't even look at that shit because so much amazing changes at the party. I went to a party where we're MC Lyte was the DJ. She was she wasn't a special guest. She wasn't she wasn't a special celebrity DJ. Like she was just the DJ you know, like the homies I got now the DJ she was like very homey to DJ did your wedding on the flyer? You know she she was just the DJ that's how star studded and nonchalant some of these events are authentic. You know like I said it all came with having confidence in myself when I started having confidence when I was no longer that post and you can lift the air you know what I'm saying? Do you get it now? Say when I was no we're not old all the shit you could say about me competency just just just came out of nowhere like whoa, what what? What's this? Uh you know that's what that does man. Password chasing drew a definition of success. That's what being viewed as being who you are does boo you when you're you don't I'm saying chasing the shit that you really want in a cooler everybody else you don't. I'm saying nobody wants to make harmonicas. But you just want to make some dope harmonicas. You don't see it. You want to make make harmonicas that are so long and so To whatever material you're saying, that's what you want to do want to make irons want to make computers want to make games you want to make hubcaps doesn't matter if you want to do it that's the only person's permission you need that's the only person's approval and you master that that's what it comes like Master that you can't master it and if you care what other people think about you doing it it's just not possible take your confidence somebody who's not going to give it to you

Jason Hardin  25:48  
and you take you by doing you to the fullest investing in you exploring you creating you not finding yourself because if you find yourself you expect to find it in someone else you expect someone else to give it to you like handed to you like here's who you are like nah that shit don't work that way create who you want to be

Jason Hardin  26:19  
change your mind you change your life open by late great deliveries remember those words in gaining competence is easiest changing my mind changing my mind changing the way I thought this all starts with with with a choice simple choice triple choice to be who you gonna be in and and do what you have to do to be that are you willing to do what you have to do to be what you want to be to have what you want to have

Jason Hardin  27:09  
because that doesn't take competence do to do what you have to do for you don't even take confidence but once you start doing it

Jason Hardin  27:27  
world opens up my friend confidence is key what can you do to be more what can you do to build competence I'm gonna tell you a couple things. You can read more when you read more yield, you get exposed more ideas you get exposed to more words and your vocabulary increases the way you're able to articulate things and express yourself it gets better and and and you walk around and you speak with with a bit more confidence than somebody who who who can put words together to express themselves who can articulate what happened what's happening what's going to happen we

Jason Hardin  28:27  
we best thing to give you more confidence we and show up don't be afraid to show up. You don't need competence to show up. Competence is not something they check like idea at the door. You don't need competence to show up you can show up. Competence might come while you get when you get there but but you got to get there you don't then competence might never come but keep showing up and you gain confidence. Keep being around the people you need to be around the people you want to be around and you'll gain confidence things will start happening you create your life you have to create live your own definition of success to even do that. That's how you create your life. Some people's definition of success is I want a family and that's what they get that's what they work towards us what they create. They have that and they they live their definition of success. They sustain their family they're happy because that brings them joy and fulfillment that's the definition some people say I want a family and a home and and maybe a couple of dollars in the bank. And some people shout one a family a home a couple of dollars in the bank and maybe a nice cars Some people say you know what, fuck all that I want to just you know what somebody else might say, You know what I want to get a dog or ranch. I want to grow me some cucumbers, squash. You know, I'm saying like, like I said, there is no limit to what you can once a while you want in the same shade as someone else. The only thing you should be looking at in someone else is how are they getting? What the fuck they want? Not how do I get what they want, but how are they getting what they want, if that's what they want. And you can almost tell when someone has what they want because they don't want nothing else. They ain't walking around talking about what you gotten and wish they had this or that they don't have those compensations. They just go around planning and doing well we're gonna do this and we're about to do that and I'm doing it you know, it's all it's all about doing.

Jason Hardin  31:04  
So get your competence by creating it in what it is you really want at life and going all in for it. Anyway man, I'm gonna leave you with that man. Did somebody get in way too long man, I love y'all and I want y'all to be successful and I want y'all to know that you are already bosses you just got to formulate that ball CISM you know this in you and focusing on doing whatever it is you him meant to do. You're here for a reason. And you create that reason that's why the shift so cool. That's why being a boss is fun. That's why the ups and downs are something that you buy like surfing if you'd like so fun surfing is probably the only way boys should I really want to do in life and you know that's the only dangerous bad the ocean the ocean lifeguard and shit at the ocean and he don't mean nothing in the ocean and the pool you're the lifeguard here to man you can save all kinds of lives in the ocean. And I said man not to take nothing from a man I appreciate them there and all the lives they do so because they man you can die in a shallow board that's why the job is so hard like people just like you can stand up here and drown but anyway, that's neither here nor there man I love y'all man find your confidence seriously. Well man be Who the hell you supposed to be man because we got enough of everybody else. Be who you need to be for you and everybody else man because like I said once you become who you are. You can be a blessing to so many man. You'll be with so many missing. You are with so many are missing. You ever thought about that? Anyway, man. We could do a whole nother show. I love y'all man live boss.net Check it out. And remember, success is the lifestyle peace