Ask for Help Before You Cry for Help

In this episode, Hardin speaks on the importance and power of asking for help.

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Transcript

Jason Hardin  0:02  
What's up everybody? Ma'am? My name is Jason Hardin and welcome to another episode of Life of a boss, the Podcast, the podcast all about creating and living your own definition of success through positive taking persevered and above all else personal development. It all starts with self, y'all. And today, today's title of the episode is going to be asked for help before you cry for help. Let me repeat myself. Today's episode, title is going to be asked for help before you cry for help and, and really just that that that quote, title means a lot to me because I recently had to ask for a lot of help. You know, it's important to know that ask them to help is the only is actually the only surefire way to progress. To get something that you need from somebody who already has it is the easiest way to get it. You see what I'm saying? So so. So it's just so important to be able to ask, and I've always had the problem of not asking for help, you know, and I say it's a problem. You know, some people pride themselves and I'm one of them folks who pride themselves on, on never needing help and never asking and never open and all that but but to be honest, it's not. It's not one of the traits of highly successful people. You know, successful people, highly successful people and top performance, they know when to ask for help they pay for help, you know, if they can ask anybody, they will pay for the help they need, they will pay a trainer, they will pay a nutritionist, they will pay a physical therapist, they will pay a counselor, any type of a psychologist or anything, they will pay for the help they need, they will pay for the by doctor, they will pay for a new heart, a new, whatever take James on people that are highly successful, they will pay for everything they need. And that's how they got there. So So I just want to stress that it's so important to be able to ask for help. And recently I've had I've had a medical issue and really, to be honest, I had pointy surgery like three weeks ago. And it was a cystic tumor they found in my cerebellum and had to get it out. You know, in six weeks prior to going to this doctor, I felt funny, you know, I couldn't speak anymore. And I was so self conscious because I developed a speech impediment. And in it was just like, overnight, I developed it, it felt like I was slurred, like you know, when you're trying to talk when you're drunk. That's what it felt like. And it felt like a stuttered. You know, and sometimes I might get hung up on words and thoughts, but I don't stutter as often as I did when I had this dish impediment, you know, and I didn't know what it was. And then, like, a couple of days into that impediment, I noticed I was getting pressured headaches, you know, like, I would have these tension headaches, you know, and every time I sneeze, or laughter cough, like a filler shock wave of this weird tension and pain go up the back of my neck and into the back of my head and, and, and why am I talking about this? Because I didn't realize I needed help. I wouldn't talk about this with anybody I thought like, man, maybe if I just go to the chiropractor, maybe if I just go to, to the what is it the acupuncturist, maybe if I do everything else, but go to the damn doctor, and figure out what the hell is wrong with me, I can get rid of this. And man, my girl, you know, she bless her heart, you know, get got me brand new pillows and, and, and massages and, and, and all kinds of stuff to kind of help alleviate pain because she was the only person I really told that I didn't feel like, you know, I was telling her that she was the first person I told that she was the only person I told any of this to you know, I didn't tell anybody that I can't speak right. You know, maybe it was late in the game. Towards the end of it by before I went to the to the hospital, but but I didn't tell anybody that I couldn't speak right. I didn't tell anybody that I was getting dizzy every day. I didn't tell anybody that, that I had these issues and, and therefore

Jason Hardin  4:22  
nobody told me what to do. You know, and you know, sometimes you just don't like being told what to do. But nobody told me what to do. Nobody said I didn't give anybody a chance to and the thing is, you know, my goal is the only person that was telling me and she said well you know what, maybe she sees a real doctor. You know, even my acupuncture doctor told me to we'll see if Western medicine you know, let them rule out well any anything that that's major anything that we can't help you with here, but let me give you some relief. So I'd go there he gave me some relief, you know, some pain relief or whatnot, and some some circulation to my brain or whatnot, but he wasn't. But it wasn't helping, you know, and it was Because of that Western medicine, really that CAT scan and that MRI that shows the doctor is exactly what I needed. And what I'm saying all that to say this that do this time period of six weeks, even though I try not to tell about you're worried about me tell my mom, I still I told my mom that I have surgery, man, I don't want to worry her. But um, even though you know, the going through all this, I needed so much help even though I didn't tell nobody what was going on. People had to pick up the slack around me in a way they didn't even understand why, you know, and not everybody like, first of all my girl, she was one person that really helped me handle business and it really was able to act and think like me at full strength. When I was just miserable. You know, I'm serious. I would I would just do whatever mandatory necessary work I had to do. Whether it be orders, whether it be clients, whatever it is, I had to do, and I would go home and go to sleep because asleep was like the only time I didn't feel it was the only time I didn't feel that that sensation. So anyway, I had to ask for that help. I had asked can you do this baby? Can you pick up this? Can you can you go this? I don't feel like man, can you can you help me Shut up. And we were setting up pop ups and all that with me feeling like absolute crap. And she be white, on a side of me just picking up the slack doing it and, and I'm thankful for that. But But I had to ask for that, you know, there was a lot of things she just didn't I didn't have to ask for. But some of the real things that I really needed help with that she may not have known or didn't know how bad I was feeling enough to realize that man, I didn't want to do this or couldn't do this. I had asked before how to tell her. Even if I didn't ask I had to just open up and tell her like man, I'm I'm not right. You know, and it got so bad. The dizziness got so bad and and that really made me go to the doctor, I'll check myself in rarely I have I committed myself I went to the emergency room knowing they're gonna keep me and they did because they found something. But I still had to ask for help. Again, I had to ask doctors for help man wondering why didn't come in. As soon as I started talking funny, if I should ask for their help a long time ago, six weeks, six weeks earlier, I wouldn't have six horrible miserable weeks of my life. Or the surgery of cutting in the back of my head and all that. So I wouldn't have had all had to go through all this or maybe even went through it earlier and shaved six weeks of my of my enjoyment of my life about productivity of where I need to be. But wonderful that is and just I just want you to know that I relate to not want to ask for help but having to. And the point is I want you to not to not not want to ask for that help. If that makes sense. I want you to want to ask for help I want you to to be open to letting people know that you need help be vulnerable, you know, and even coming out of that it was just like the love and the donations from people people donated to me now, man. I can't believe the response I got you know, knowing that knowing that that many people really care you know, and I think all of you each and every one of you the people that were anonymous, you know I think y'all y'all know who you are. Nobody else do but y'all know who you are. And I just want to thank you you know because like I said there was another time that I needed help you know, I've never I never been in time to be comfortable with that. And and it's amazing how much that help helps you know, because since I'd never been comfortable asking I never knew the the sometimes the good hitters the stress that gets alleviated the the things you can free up the resources and time and energy and strength you can you can free up to fight a different battle a better battle is meant for you a battle that you can't get no outside help to fight you have to do yourself there's all kinds of kind of battles like that we face them each and every day but but we have to free ourselves up to be our best selves in those battles and the only way to do that is ask for help when we need it and put things wouldn't not so good at things we can't find it alone. We can't find everything alone so

Jason Hardin  9:17  
that's when we have to ask for help and I just want to share with you some tips on when asked for help and how to ask for help. Let me get my notes you know I got some show notes all that was off the cuff that's why I ran so long. But um, but yeah, I got some real tactical advice and you can actually put in play to progress further in in less time by learning the power of asking for help. And more my first example of when asked for help my first tactic on or a piece of advice on when to ask for help is when something is causing stress, anxiety or depression If you have something causing you stress or anxiety or depression, you need to ask for help. Whether it be asking for help for whatever you're stressing about whatever you have anxiety about or whatever making you depressed asking for help with with that issue, or asking for help with feeling that way talking to somebody asking for therapeutic help, you know, asking for, for some, some, some therapy, you know, the whole point of mental health is communication. And we can only check or fix how we communicate with ourselves. Because that's what the most important communication is communication with yourself. And you can only like, fix that if something's wrong with it if you if you address it, or speak to somebody about it, because we could be telling ourselves all kinds of things that aren't true. I'm not good enough. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not smart enough. I'm not talented enough, I'm not well spoken enough. There's all kinds of lies we could tell ourselves, they're just that they're lies, because anything that we put any effort into doing, we can become, we can learn we can get done, we can accomplish. So any miscommunication between you and yourself has to be cooked, has to be confronted and fixed and resolved. And that comes from asking for help. Asking for help knowing when to when you need to talk to someone knowing when you need resources you don't have and somebody else has. So when you're feeling anxious or depressed or stressed, ask for help. Second example of when they ask for help is when you're under qualified and equipped. And that means if you don't know how to do something, ask for help. I'm gonna just sum it up right there because I don't want to take up too much more your time. And my third tip on when to ask for help is when you don't know where to start. You know that Be honest with yourself there's a lot of things that you want to do or want to know how to do. And you know exactly what to start as soon as you want to know how to do you know what I'm saying? If you want to be a better this, you're like, Okay, I know I need to go to that I need to go down to to the to the gym or I need to do you know what I'm saying? It's like you kind of know where to start to become better. But if you have an issue and you have no clue on where to start, and you got no clue on how to fix it, like none whatsoever, you need to ask for help. That is the perfect time to ask for help. And please do you know what I'm saying? Please do all this gonna make I think all this advice it just it benefits me too. So don't think I'm not being selfish out here trying to help people you know, because because I do genuinely want to help people so they won't have problems. But I like helping people too. So I don't have power the more good people we put out there in the world and the more the more great entrepreneurs and human beings and philanthropists and and nonprofit organized and and the more great people we put out there the less problems all of us will have the less stress all of us have the more safe everything will be you know if we had people that we could trust and in medicine and people that we trust in politics and people with integrity and live war class lives on a straight bosses in these positions of power and influence man we we can do so much better. You know so that's why I want the next generation anybody here in this even if they from the old generation and are willing to change I want people to listen to this to have some of the tools required to change for the better. That's the only reason why I do these shows. The only reason why I do the show anyway let me ask

Jason Hardin  13:46  
ask if you all know how to ask for help you know how do you ask for help let me let me give you some tips because because some of us may want help may need help may be willing to ask for their help but then get shot you know we get like we get scared you know we just like damn Anna we look for a perfect time and stuff so so let me just get into my my tips on when to ask for help. I mean how to ask me how we already went through when just ask blurt it out man I need $500 Man you know neither vibe man or whatever it is just just openly and quickly get it out and say it and clearly Say it and don't beat around the bush that's number two don't beat around the bush man don't don't make don't take people for a ride. You know people's time is valuable their attention span is valuable the attention they give you is valuable me I hate I absolutely hate when people beat around the bush or fish efficient for certain information so so so on efficient finance or efficient for for help, but they they asked me a million questions to get there. Like are you going anywhere? Are you like, man, what the fuck do you want and why? And sometimes only we care why just tell me what you want. So I can get to yes or no quick. If it doesn't make me no different, I'm usually going to say yes, most of the time I felt like you have respect you, but, but that's the whole point, man. Don't beat around the bush people value their time, value their attention, and you'll get what you need faster done if you don't beat around the bush. Number three, don't wait for the perfect time. How many of us wait for the perfect time to ask somebody for something, and I'm not gonna lie. They're awesome, horrible times to ask for something. But don't wait for the perfect time. You know, know when not to ask, you know, somebody just went through a tragedy Don't be like, amen. Can I get that? $20? You know, you know, don't don't ask when it's inappropriate. You know, and you don't have to be the judge of that, you know, I can I can do a whole show on just when, but don't ask when it's inappropriate. You know, but but don't wait for the perfect time. Because there's never a perfect time to ask for anything, just like there's never a perfect time to do something. The time is always now, the perfect time is if it didn't get done six months ago, six years ago, 20 years ago, man is the next perfect time is now to ask now. You know what I'm saying. And like I said, you get to where you need to be faster. And they'll get to where they need to be faster, because they've even dealt with you already. You know what I'm saying? So long, drag nothing out. Don't wait for no perfect time. Don't beat around the bus, ask for what you need. Now, another thing, share what you're learning throughout the whole experience. You know what I'm saying? And I guess that's, that's after you get what you need. Or after you ask me share, share it with somebody share, share that you need to help. And if you ask when, because I'm telling you so little people really take advantage of the power of asking, you know, so too many of us with good hearts and good intentions. And in good sense. Do not ask for help. And I just want to let you know that that is not the way to be a straight boss, I want to help you all become absolute forces. And that means living with complete and incomplete autonomy. And that means doing exactly what you want to do. Not being on somebody else's schedule not being on someone else's terms. You set your own terms you live in life on your own time. You set your own wage, you set your own hours, you know saying like a boss is supposed to. And that's all I'm trying to replicate on this show. And to get there faster. You don't have to ask for help. Anyway, man, that's my show. I love all y'all and like I said, thank all of y'all for always supporting, always helping, always showing love and good thoughts and positive energy man, I love all y'all and and yeah, I'm back. It's gonna be a great year y'all 2022 Man, whatever you need to get done. Do it. And if you need help, ask what I love y'all. Peace.