Starting Fresh

In this episode, Hardin speaks on how to embrace extreme changes and starting over.

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Transcript

Jason Hardin  0:02  
Yo, yo, yo, as always, that is me, your host, Jason Hardin. And this is another wonderful episode of Life of a boss, the podcast was all about creating your own definition of success. And living your own definition is the definition of success, through positive thinking, perseverance, and above all else, personal development, that's all we do here is try to help you get the tools and understand the tools. That's required to get better. Because it's all about creating a better shelf, that's all we want to do here is help you create the best user you can create. You know, that's it, that's all I do that my job done, if one of you comes out better, you know, one of you take heed to anything I say, improves in any way, I am satisfied, I am happy, I will go to bed at night thinking I change the world. Because change a mind you change the world. If you change it for the better. I see how that work, man is always putting better. Anyway, speaking of changing for the better, man. Today's episode is all about fresh starts, you know, it's all about how to make the most out of starting over. And for those that don't know, man, I've started over so many times. I mean, I went to 19 different elementary schools, if you can imagine that, always being the new kid, you know, always having to start over with friends and, and and, and popularity and acceptance and, and all that, you know, going through that 19 times as an elementary student, not junior high, not high school as a youngster as a very young kid, you know that I think of all the times I had to start over. And this is why well, this is the foundation of how I learned how to start over. So I've had practice, just not I went through something once and I'm like, Man, I'm the master starting over Nah, man I have, I've had lifelong practice of how to start a how to start over and how to see it, and how to make the most of it. So taky. Anyway, also, you know, I had relationships that failed, and I've had to start over. So I've had careers, you know, there were things that I've had, that I still enjoy doing that I couldn't do any more. You know, and I had to start over, you know what I'm saying? So I know all about starting over. And all also know all about how to use starting over to kind of put yourself to that next level. The one thing I can honestly say that, for the last, say, maybe 1015 years, every time I had to start over, it was better. I came out a bit better than when I went in it, you know, sometimes just the whole, it took a dip in my progress. You know, it wasn't just a straight line up. I'm like stock when I was I was like this you don't I'm saying ups and downs all the way up. That's That's what success is man. That's what the life of a boss is understanding and knowing that to get to the top or the good to the next level, it's ups and downs involved. Just like a stock that makes a million dollars overnight. And for somebody, it was ups and downs involved. Even if it was just one day, there was ups and downs, that stock price has changed so much and fluctuate so much in one day, you wouldn't imagine that's what creates all these day traders. And for those that don't know about, it's the people that they buy when it's high and sell it when it's slow by the minute, sometimes by the seconds. Those are that's what pattern day trading is I know that because I've done that. Like I said, I know all about ups and downs. So I know all about the benefits of starting fresh, and how to do that. And one of the first tips I can give you to make the best starting over is to always go into whatever that situation is with a positive attitude. I don't know it can be the most negative reason to start over, you might have just got divorced, you might have just lost somebody dear to you might just be shipped off to some, you know, some faraway terrible place because you're in the military and you got to start over for a minute. You know, like any situation can happen. We don't have control over the world, but we have complete control over us. We have complete control over what we think and say to ourselves, so when you're going into a situation when you know you're gonna have to start over ma'am. It helps to go into it with the best attitude with the best attitude not not Oh man, it's gonna be the worst thing. It's like no, it's gonna be the best thing that ever happened to be you have to think like that. Those going into the pandemic, those that went into Oh, that's gonna kill my business. It's

Jason Hardin  4:50  
gonna do this. It's gonna do this gonna make me homeless. It's gonna, it's gonna all that negative stuff, man, it properly did happen to him, but if he stayed positive, like me, I'm just gonna be beshear my business overhead, I'm gonna make the most money I ever did, I'm gonna do the most I'm gonna, I'm gonna write the most, I'm gonna record the most content, I'm gonna write the most books or pages, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do something with this situation. And that's what you have to do. That's how a boss thinks. That's the mentality of a, of a real boss or bona fide boss. That's, that's the game. But you have to start there, you have to know that you have to understand that that's true. Your attitude is everything almost. I don't even know if everything almost makes sense. But you know what I'm saying? Anyway, my second tip is to live one day at a time. Nothing will age you faster than trying to live more than one day at a time. Stress is a silent killer man. Make you lose your hair make to go gray make you get out of shape, man stress, you know, of trying to live more than one day at a time trying to trying to live to mall trying to live I was trying to respond to what's gonna happen tomorrow and next week and next month, and not prepared kind of way but just always responding to like, man, them days ain't even thinking about you. And you got to know you got to understand that you don't. I'm saying like, Man quit trying to live so far into the future. It's one day at a time you want to prepare. You want to plan as well as you can, but you can't live more than one day at a time. So only live one day, be in the moment be in The Now. What can I control now. Because if I'm trying to think about tomorrow, and the next in the next day, the next day, I'm not fully present now. And something might slip. Something might slip by me something might slip through my head through my hands on my finger, something might slip, I might slip. Because I'm not paying attention to what's happening now. So when you're going through a situation and you know you're going to start over, man live in the moment, what can I make? Out of what's going on right now? Damn, what I'm gonna have Dammit, I'm not gonna have damn what I got to do later. I know all that stuff. But I don't even have to think about that. Now. What can I do now? Next to control your reactions. I had to learn to control my reactions to the things I was going through. You know, sometimes when you're younger, you're immature sometimes, you know, gotta be young. So sorry, kid, you ain't got to be young, because I'm trying to put that on y'all. But sometimes when you're immature what you know, cuz a lot of adults and old people, they can be in this category. When you mature you. You don't have control or you think you don't have to have control over your reactions. You think that what's going on is a license to do something that is destructive, self destructive, hurtful, harmful. Negative, and it's not. It's not you can't go to court and say I was mad. I killed him because I was mad. I'll beat him up because I was mad. That is not independence. That is not one that's gonna get you a free. So know that your reaction is, is very important. There is no excuse. For your reactions. There's no you have to choose the best ones. See what I'm saying. And if you if you don't know what the best ones are, don't react. Don't do anything, don't respond. Sometimes you have to sit on your hands or shut up and process something before you can respond to it in a healthy way. So not everything needs your reaction in a dancer doesn't need a negative reaction. And one of those negative reactions is going to a new situation with a poor attitude. Don't let a poor attitude be one of your reactions to something. Don't let blame be be a reaction to something you don't say and don't let don't let anything negative Bo first reaction. And I'm not saying you can't think about it. I'm not saying that won't cross your mind. Sometimes, sometimes, like the first thing on my question, man, like man, I wish I can beat this motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? But you don't do it. You're not supposed to do it. You know, I'm saying you just don't take off on a body that pisses you off and makes you upset. But it's not unhealthy to feel that that anger it's not unhealthy to be upset. That's not the unhealthy part. The unhealthy part is choosing to do something because you're upset to do something harmful, hurtful, destructive, bad, negative. Incorrect. Just because you're upset, you have control over that. So use that control, use that control. Next thing is practice patience.

Jason Hardin  9:43  
I learned to practice patients every time I went into a new situation. I knew how to adjust you know what, let me see where this goes. You know, it took a long time to develop that. You know, I wasn't always patient. Oh man. I want friends now. I want to be happy now. I just moved to a new place I want to be satisfied now. I want a new clue. Now you know, Santa. And sometimes I never came to a place in 112 schools wide never made a friend. I didn't have it didn't have the chance to. I was there maybe six months, maybe three months. I never went to an LM there was only one elementary school we're actually to a fifth grade my sixth grade No, the two different schools. I went each for four years. I never went to a school for four years until a fifth grade bestway was the first time I ever went to one school for a whole year and it was tamarisk elementary up in Palmdale California. And, yeah, I remember that. I remember that and, and I moved after that year. And then I went to a was a terrorist Hill was the terrorists hills. I think it was terrace hills. I don't know what that damn Grand Terrace Elementary and I think I went to terrace Hills didn't have was a terrorist view. I don't remember but but those are the first two schools I ever spent more than one year. So I know all about being patient man, I've learned and develop the, the need to be patient, you know, and not just need the discipline to be patient. Because we all need to be patient, but very few of us have the discipline to be patient and, and having discipline to be patient means not being upset, not not rushing, not, not not being anxious or worried or upset because things aren't happening now. You know, that's being disciplined, and patient, you know, controlling all the negative thoughts and all the all the all the unhelpful thoughts that you have, why you having a weight, you know, like allowing your time to do you and not doing your time, you know, you got to be patient, and you got to make the most of being present. I next, I took on new hobbies and activities and challenges. You know, when you're going into some new situation, man, since you're going into a new situation, might as well go in with that new perspective that new, not persona, but that new, you know, whatever you want to do whatever you want to learn, like, man, make that a party, this there's newness, you move to a new area, man, learn to make new friends, you know, be around new people take a new hobby, or do something that you've always wanted to do, you know, you move to a new area, man and you want to get into archery. Or you want to, you know, join a book club. Man, there's so many things that do something just totally new. Just go to the gym and join a fitness class, where you can meet people you don't I'm saying or just go to going to the gym, you move to a new place now, you know what the hell I'm gonna go to the gym every day. You know, make make a new habit. You know, take on new activity, challenge yourself, you know, take on a new challenge. Like man, I moved to a new place a new city man, I'm gonna, I'm gonna drop 20 pounds. You know, I'm gonna start dropping, I'm gonna drop or you know what, man, I'm, I'm no longer gonna eat meat. You know, I lost my girlfriend and and she's gone and I'm starting out. But you know what, I'm no longer gonna eat meat, I'm gonna take on that challenge. I'm gonna become vegan. You know. So, I'm just saying the point is like, when you enter into a new situation, take on a new challenge, take on a new hobby, because these things are gonna not just take your mind off having to be somewhere else, or having to adapt to a change, it's going to keep you in a positive state of mind. It's going to keep you creating, it's going to keep you productive, it's going to keep you stimulated in a positive way instead of sulking and mad and being upset because you're in a new situation. So think about that take on new challenges, hobbies and activities

Jason Hardin  14:03  
and meet new people and he said that man meet new people you know, go to the library go to wherever it is that only brings you interest. You know, man don't go to the club and go see you know, there you go. But but the fascial live man that's gonna help you get out that box and become comfortable Yeah, man, by all means go to the club. You know, but but go to a class, take a class go to a school, you know, I'm saying a junior college, a college some around to keep you around people. There's plenty of great ways to meet new people. But try to meet them in positive places, you know, go to conferences, business mixers, you know, and if you can't find out what these things are, man, look them up on business mixer near me. You know, a comic book group near me. You know, tech group near me, you know, meetup.com meetup.com is a bunch. There are a bunch of places and reasons It's a resourceful bunch of places and reasons for people to meet up. You know, so you will always find groups to belong to, or to check out on meetup.com. And they meet physically, I don't know what they've done since the pandemic, I'm pretty sure some will meet physically. If not, they zoom, you know, whatever it is, man, meet new people, you're in a new situation, meet new people try to make new friends. And it's not about making new friends. It's really about interacting, you know what I'm saying interacting with other people from or, or in different situations. And that might help put your situation in a better perspective. Another thing, become willing to change. When you got to get put in a new situation, when you got to live a new kind of way, if you've got to adapt, be willing to change, don't go into a new situation, thinking I don't do this. I don't do that. I've never done this. And I'll never do that. Now. Go into situations no one you can change that you can adapt and give yourself permission to change. Know that it's okay to be different. Don't think that the UAV intruder yourself, just because you got to become a better person or, or a different version of yourself. Just because you got to improve or change in an area. still know that that's being true to you. Knowing when the change is being real to yourself. And it's some bullshit to do. So be willing to change always be willing to change. Forgive yourself, and sometimes when we go into a new situation, or we have a new situation thrust upon us, we want to blame somebody. We want to blame others man, she put me in this position man she left is her fault. Man, they died only man last day for a while. Why couldn't they stay healthy? Why couldn't? Why couldn't I do better man? And why can I make a better decision? Why why? Man, I knew that I was I was messing up I knew man. So we like to put blame on people. And it's okay to understand who played parts and situations but it's not okay to put blame on people and just leave it there. You got to forgive yourself and you got to forgive others. Because bringing all that blame and hatred with you into new situations angle make you top notch in that new situation. All that baggage angle will make you a light on your feet in the next situation. So leave all that baggage alone. Leave it all but uh, back in your old situation. You know, forgive people man. That's all I'm saying. It's just so important to forgive people yourself included man forgive learn the art of forgiving learn to audit forgiving man look it up the audit forgiving man google it I don't even know what's gonna pop up. But some don't teach you how to forgive. It's so important man. We don't do it. For other men. We do it for ourself. We have to man if if you're selfish and you want to feel better, and you hate forgiving because you think it's going it shows that you're a sucker or is admitting being wrong now man, forgiving, man, be selfish. The good thing is be yourself forgiving is healing is wanting to heal in and be a better person and all that and better yourself. So to give out of selfishness, you know, don't think you're doing something for the next person to the person you blamed you know, know that it's doing something for you. I know some of us just don't want to forgive because we don't want to think we're helping or admitting the other person is right. You know, but but in all actuality, forgiving someone only helps you. But given yourself only helps you sometimes you just want to be like, Man, I blame myself so I'll never make that mistake again. Man, you can forgive yourself and never make that mistake again. You can absolutely forgive yourself and never be in that situation again. So don't think forgiving yourself is always gonna put you back. Don't think forgiving yourself means you didn't learn something. You can learn something.

Jason Hardin  19:05  
And and never you know have to go through that again. You You can man and learning keeps you from going forgiving yourself and healing will be more likely to help you stay out of this situation that never forgiven yourself. You could never forgive yourself and be in the same shit. You know, so that he was gonna heal, heal you and that's how we're gonna. That's not what's gonna protect you. Not forgiving yourself is not going to protect you from making that mistake again. You have to forgive yourself. Alright, so forgive others and forgive yourself man. That's, that's one of the things I want you to do if you get stuck in a new situation. Um, lastly, lose attachments. Sometimes that's hard man. And a lot of these have to do with attachment. Sometimes we attach ourselves to blame. Sometimes we attach ourselves to old activities. Sometimes we attach ourselves to Tibet attitudes, but we have to sum all that up, we have to lose those attachments. We have to know when to change we have to know when to change our attitude we have to know how to how to occupy our time in a different way we have to you know what I'm saying we have to lose our attachments to everything we thought we knew everything we thought we believed everything that's just not working, lose attachments to what's not working if you want to know what to lose an attachment to lose it to what's not working, detach yourself from negative people, negative situations, negative things and negative places detach yourself from everything that isn't propelling you to that next level. Alright, anyway, I love your article way too much time. But man, that's just it's just important me man, it's just important to me, it's important to me that I help others be able to learn and understand the benefit of having to start over because we all had to do it at some point we're all gonna lose some care about at some point we're all gonna be in a different employment situation or a different financial situation or a different housing situation at some point. Whether it be a good one or a bad one whether it be a good reason or a bad reason whether we moving up or moving down we Nothing stays the same on this planet. So the sofa earlier and the quicker and the better you can deal with change and adapt to it and use it to propel you to that next level man the more successful you'll be the better boss you'll be and like I said you will achieve and live your definition of success. But you have to learn how to make the best of a new situation. I like I said man, taking too much of your time man I love your please check out the new website where the life of boss.net Man the book is coming out man check out life of a boss creating and living your own definition of success. The book it's available for pre order right now. It's going to be a digital and print Amazon Kindle, man I will put it out on everything because I want everybody to check it out. My first book I ever wrote, man, if I can do it, you can't do anyway. I love y'all. I'm gonna let y'all go now, cuz I hate longer. Bye